Week 8 – Did I Really Do That Just Now?

It’s coming. Ever so slowly. Progress, that is.

Mark tells us not to let perfection be the enemy of the good. I like that. In other circles, it is said like this: “Progress, not perfection.”

One of the most overarching parts of my old blueprint was my quick temper. My moods could, and would, change on a dime. It was exhausting – to me, and to everyone around me. I am so glad I am changing that.

 

work-in-progress-24027_1280

 

One of my pet peeves in communication is having to repeat myself. It bothers me to no end, and makes me feel unloved. I’m working on that too – realizing that someone not listening to me doesn’t mean I am unimportant or unloved; it is a reflection on something happening with them. It doesn’t mean I am less than.

I was sharing something with my husband yesterday when he showed me something. In the moment, my frustration about being interrupted took over. I moved away, physically, mentally and emotionally. As I got ready to leave the room, I stopped. There was no conscious thought about it, but I did it. One of the things that my husband hates is when I am upset, but I leave the room without telling him what has upset me. In the act of stopping right then, I was able to realize that he was not being unloving. He did not mean to disrespect me. I expressed my frustration, not in terms of him being wrong, but in terms of how it made me feel. Showing him the love and respect of explaining my feelings without blaming him diffused the situation. He apologized, and explained why he had interrupted me. I understood where he was coming from. He understood where I was coming from.

How often have I been able to do this, to express my feelings lovingly and respectfully, at the beginning, rather than at the end, after an argument? Frankly, not nearly enough. Too often we argue first and then talk after.

Baby steps. Isn’t that what this process is all about? 🙂

 

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  • Deanna says:

    What a fantastic breakthrough you had! I feel the same way when I’m interrupted. Now I try to remember it’s either their excitement or poor manners causing them to butt in. It has nothing to do with me.

    • Suzanne says:

      I’m so happy to hear I’m not the only one. It’s a challenge to remember that is has nothing to do with us, but it is a good lesson for us to keep in the forefront, right? I so appreciate your comment. 🙂

  • Anne Chambers says:

    Well done! I’m taking small steps too. We have to realize and acknowledge the effects of our behaviors 1st before we can start to change. That is the hardest part.

    • Suzanne says:

      Yes, the awareness is key, isn’t it? And then the arguments with myself, lol. Glad you are on the journey as well. Thanks so much for stopping by!

  • Donna Wasielewski says:

    Wow! All the relationships in your life are being impacted by your hard work! I can only imagine the peace and cohesion in your family by the end of this journey. You are an amazing role model!

  • Ambush says:

    This is so wonderful! Congratulations on having this progression in your new blueprint so that it’s now manifesting itself! That’s really encouraging.

    (P.S. I love your graphics!)

  • Dennis says:

    Big step with baby steps! Way to go! Good lesson for me to follow your example – I appreciate your honesty in journaling your experience. Thank you!

    • Suzanne says:

      Thanks, Dennis! It was difficult at first to be so open and frank online, but it seems now that I am helping so many, and that makes my heart smile. 🙂

  • Liane says:

    It is great to see that all the work we put in amounts to something, isn’t it. We become free again, we have the freedom to choose a different outcome and impact everybody in a more positive way. This is great Suzanne.