Week 8.5 – More Progress
I was all set to tell you about the funny experience we had the other night of listening to my younger daughter’s “speech”. She truly sounded as if she was reading her DMP from the check register my hubby had given to her to play with. She talked about how she was going to teach her parents to play the piano, and how she wants to clean her room. She said it all with so much emotion that it was inspiring and hilarious at the same time.
So while that was cute, and it shows that she has heard one or both of us reading our DMP (my older daughter is doing MKMMA with me), what happened today was even more profound.
Thursdays are long days for us. We leave the house at around noon and get home around 8 p.m. For most people, that may not seem like much; for a homeschooling family, it feels like a long day. That time is spent catching up on MKMMA readings and videos, making prospecting and follow up calls, showing the service I market, driving my daughter to the classes she is doing, and occasionally sitting in on one of those classes.
One of the big things on a Thursday is piano class. Today, we were 3/4 way to the dance studio and my daughter turned around, looked in the back of the car, and turned to face front, sighing. In that moment, I knew she had left something important. It turns out it was the most important thing – her piano bag with every book she is using.
The old me would have been furious, and I would have let her have it, verbally berating her. Instead, I asked what she suggested we do about it. She came up with three options. The first one was the one that I liked. The other two options required a return home and then back to the studio. Both the dance studio and the piano studio are 40 minutes away from home, and about 20-30 minutes away from each other. She called her piano teacher, leaving a message asking if she could use her (the piano teacher’s) music. Next we talked about the other options. I then asked her how she would respond if she was the mother in this situation.
It’s not that I haven’t done this before, this asking what options she suggested. What is unusual is that it preceded my usual ranting and raving. Even as I listened to her, I repeated to myself, “I greet this day with love in my heart”. The stimulus-choice-response that Mark talked about on Sunday – yep, I was doing it. Usually, the addiction to the anger peptides would mean that I would have lashed out verbally, which does nothing for our relationship or for the issue at hand. TODAY, I CHOSE to have a different response. Today, I chose to be more loving. That was huge.
The frustration I have felt in the past couple of weeks about not being consistent melted away when I was able to respond in this rare way of calmness. It shows that progress is being made, ever so slowly. I am happy with that.