Week 17a – The Conclusion
Earlier this week, I blogged about how difficult it was for me to read the obituaries, because the last time I read one was a year and a half ago when my father passed away.
Writing that blog and crying was cathartic for me, and that same night I read two obituaries – my father’s, which I helped write, and one of a local gentleman. After all the tears, I realized that Daddy would not want me to cry, and he would want me to do my best on this week’s assignment. Daddy always pushed me to do my best – when I got an A-, he would ask why I had not gotten an A. I knew he would want me to push through the pain, and to do the assignment.
I won’t say it was easy. Re-reading Daddy’s obituary was hard. I broke down several times. It was hard to process the feeling of regret that I had about not spending enough time with him, and not seeing him for so many years before that fateful summer. I thought of my family, and how scattered we all are. Eventually, what brought me through were the memories of my childhood, of watching kung fu movies with him, and detective shows, and his laughter. I miss his laugh. That is likely one of the things I miss the most about him. Even as I type this, sitting in the bookstore, I am tearing up.
I took comfort in The Master Key Part 12.4, where Haanel says this:
“The only way to keep from going backward is to keep going forward. Eternal vigilance is the price of success. There are three steps, and each one is absolutely essential. You must first have the knowledge of your power; second, the courage to dare; third, the faith to do.”
Failing to take that step of completing the obituary assignment this week would, to me, have been going backward, the opposite of what I want, and need, to do. So I did as Haanel suggested – I recognized and claimed my power – that of feeling sad and lost and yet moving forward. I struck out in faith, not knowing how well I would do, but knowing that whatever came my way – feelings, thoughts, etc., I was, and am, strong enough to handle it.
What surprised me was that I actually did not find it that hard to read the other obituaries. I read each one, and looked at the pictures and felt the love being conveyed from the people mourning their loved ones. The ones I read had lived fulfilling lives, and had many children, and grandchildren.
This week, with this assignment, I lived Scroll III – I persisted until I succeeded.
It was also time today to live Scroll IV. I had an appointment today where I presented my business in a different manner than most others who do what I do, would have done. Instead of talking, I asked questions, and suggested, letting the persons I met with lead the way. It isn’t typical in my industry, and it certainly is not how many of us have been trained lately, but for me, it was the right thing. I’ve always been kind of a misfit (except in high school, where I fit in pretty well) – I think differently, and I ask a lot of questions. I hardly ever take things at face value, and I tend to overthink and overanalyze. It gets me into trouble sometimes, but I enjoy it for the most part. So in my business, I am learning to tweak things a bit, to suit me and my style. Because, as Scroll IV says,
“…I place my uniqueness on display in the market place. I will proclaim it, yea, I will sell it. I will begin now to accent my differences; hide my similarities.”
I am nature’s greatest miracle.