Week 17a – The Conclusion

Earlier this week, I blogged about how difficult it was for me to read the obituaries, because the last time I read one was a year and a half ago when my father passed away.

Writing that blog and crying was cathartic for me, and that same night I read two obituaries – my father’s, which I helped write, and one of a local gentleman. After all the tears, I realized that Daddy would not want me to cry, and he would want me to do my best on this week’s assignment. Daddy always pushed me to do my best – when I got an A-, he would ask why I had not gotten an A. I knew he would want me to push through the pain, and to do the assignment.

I won’t say it was easy. Re-reading Daddy’s obituary was hard. I broke down several times. It was hard to process the feeling of regret that I had about not spending enough time with him, and not seeing him for so many years before that fateful summer. I thought of my family, and how scattered we all are. Eventually, what brought me through were the memories of my childhood, of watching kung fu movies with him, and detective shows, and his laughter. I miss his laugh. That is likely one of the things I miss the most about him. Even as I type this, sitting in the bookstore, I am tearing up.

I took comfort in The Master Key Part 12.4, where Haanel says this:

“The only way to keep from going backward is to keep going forward. Eternal vigilance is the price of success. There are three steps, and each one is absolutely essential. You must first have the knowledge of your power; second, the courage to dare; third, the faith to do.”

 

Failing to take that step of completing the obituary assignment this week would, to me, have been going backward, the opposite of what I want, and need, to do. So I did as Haanel suggested – I recognized and claimed my power – that of feeling sad and lost and yet moving forward. I struck out in faith, not knowing how well I would do, but knowing that whatever came my way – feelings, thoughts, etc., I was, and am, strong enough to handle it.

What surprised me was that I actually did not find it that hard to read the other obituaries. I read each one, and looked at the pictures and felt the love being conveyed from the people mourning their loved ones. The ones I read had lived fulfilling lives, and had many children, and grandchildren.

This week, with this assignment, I lived Scroll III – I persisted until I succeeded.

It was also time today to live Scroll IV. I had an appointment today where I presented my business in a different manner than most others who do what I do, would have done. Instead of talking, I asked questions, and suggested, letting the persons I met with lead the way. It isn’t typical in my industry, and it certainly is not how many of us have been trained lately, but for me, it was the right thing. I’ve always been kind of a misfit (except in high school, where I fit in pretty well) – I think differently, and I ask a lot of questions. I hardly ever take things at face value, and I tend to overthink and overanalyze. It gets me into trouble sometimes, but I enjoy it for the most part. So in my business, I am learning to tweak things a bit, to suit me and my style. Because, as Scroll IV says,

“…I place my uniqueness on display in the market place. I will proclaim it, yea, I will sell it. I will begin now to accent my differences; hide my similarities.”

 

I am nature’s greatest miracle.

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  • Ambush says:

    Wonderful for you to keep pressing onward! Excellent and inspiring applications of the Master Keys and the Scrolls 🙂

  • Aleisha says:

    You are nature’s greatest miracle and what a way to embrace and utilise your uniqueness – congratulations

  • Shelby Nolan says:

    I applaud you on moving forward, your Dad would have been proud. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your emotional story with us all. Blessings of Love, Light and Abundance!

  • masterkeychiara13 says:

    Well done! You did great. What an amazing and emotional week for you…I like a lot that you ask questions, instead of doing the conventional talk. You are wonderful!!

  • Liane says:

    Thanks you Suzanne for this honest post. It is such a beautiful uniqueness that you can display. I am luckyto be with you in this group.

  • aloha Suzanne WooHoo YOU totally are Natures Greatest Miracle! You are an AWEsome student and persisted in completing a task that just wasn’t comfortable YOU step out of that comfort zone and took that next step…Mahalo’s for sharing…oh also Your Daddy is so proud of you as we all are 🙂

  • Awesome post. I like the quote about going forward.. Thanks for sharing

  • Lovely post Suzanne, Progress is growth and growth is strength. You are awesome and unique.
    Thanks for the authentic post.

  • Bob Watkins says:

    Suzanne, what a great blog to share your experience. The obituary reading exercise gave me pause at first but, I am really getting into it after transitioning to the new Og scroll. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  • ChuckD says:

    Way to hang in there…way to go!

  • Izanna says:

    You’re a very strong woman!! You’re doing great!! Keep doing the great work!

  • Heartwarming Suzanne, I too struggled with the assignment but pressed on. My father passed when I was 16 and mom 6 years later to the day. We are learning how to use our incredible brains to overcome and we are… Thank you for a great and Powerful heartwarming post 🙂

    • Suzanne says:

      Dave, you and I were in good company with this assignment. I am sorry for your loss. It’s amazing how powerful our brains truly are, isn’t it, if we will let them do what they are able to? 😉

  • Jeanne Dow says:

    Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your deepest emotions while reading the obits and especially sharing your life experience with your father. I always found and read my father’s obit the other day to just be in his presence for the great life he gave me.

    • Suzanne says:

      Thank you, Jeanne! It was hard to be this vulnerable but yet very cathartic. I LOVE that you read your father’s obituary to feel close to him.

  • Anne Chambers says:

    I can imagine your pain as you read your father’s obituary, well done for persisting. Having the courage to show your uniqueness and your differences, I’m sure, made for a great presentation .

  • Well done Suzanne, you are unique and amazing. Very inspiring.
    RonA

  • Loucas says:

    What a wonderful blog. It was such a joy to read and I can totally connect to all the difficult feelings you had yet you made the best choices for yourself and above all despite your memories and experiences of your father that passed away you still found happiness in yourself. Love it. Love and gratitude to all.

  • I could really feel your words, Suzanne…to the point of a few tears. You’ve truly embraced MKMMA!

  • I never reread my mothers or fathers obit since that day. So I’m not to say that I would know how you felt. My condolences to you. Thanks for sharing with us. Blessings to you.

  • Alan Goldberg says:

    Thanks for sharing. Most inspiring! All we have is now. We can’t change what happened yesterday, but can plan for tomorrow.

  • Suzanne I am late getting here but glad I came. Reading your post after talking about the comfort zone the last two weeks tells me you have the courage and energy to push through your fears and enter the unknown with faith that you will do just fine. Great job.