Week 11 – Reinforcing Lessons Learned – Back to Scroll II and The Law of Substitution
It feels like I am making some progress again – then again, I persist until I succeed. 🙂
This week I had the opportunity to see just how far I have come, and how much progress I have made, since beginning the MKMMA program. I was not disappointed.
Once a month, or once every two months, I attend a local networking meeting. We meet for lunch, talk about our businesses and sometimes have a speaker. Today I went, knowing that one of the attendees would be someone whom I had once called a friend, who had hurt me very deeply a few years ago. It was a very deep wound, because I had poured a lot of time and effort into our friendship, and the loss of the relationship made me doubt myself and my instincts. Women are supposed to have reliable instincts.
In preparation for seeing the person, I made sure to re-read Scroll II – not just the one phrase I carried over when I started reading Scroll III, but the entire Scroll II. I wanted to be as prepared as I could be to handle the encounter, and to be as kind and loving as I could be. In addition to being a little nervous about how things would go, I was a little sad that someone who had RSVP’d for the event would not be able to make it. They say there are six degrees of separation between two people, and there were, in fact, less than six between the person I wanted to be there and the one I had not seen in a long time. The old me would have told the one about the other, but instead, I chose not to say anything. I actually chose to think of something completely different.
Things were ok. I greeted the individual brightly, and although I received a hushed “hi”, I was unfazed. I wasn’t upset; I could look at the person, laugh at her jokes, and talk with her, as if nothing was wrong. I won’t say it was perfect, or that it was the most comfortable I had been, but frankly, I was more comfortable than I thought I could be.
Progress? For sure. With love in my heart, and a willingness to subvert the automatic, knee-jerk stimulus-response, that old blueprint is becoming less visible, and I am beginning to see the new me emerge more and more often.